Friday, June 19, 2015

Why do we have fake arguments in our heads?

      Have you ever been you are running through a fake argument in your head someone? Or Are tired of someone at work or home and fantasize about what a “throw down” argument would be like with them? After your fake argument, were you pissed? Relieved?

      The world we live in seems to draw out the worst in people, yet it is looked down upon to call people on their bullshit. As if it is acceptable to act out, but not okay to react to it. I am not sure when this started to be the case. It has plagued us in the real world for some time and the only place this is does not apply is the internet.

      The internet is where everyone is fearless.  There is a level hatred unrivaled on the web. Where people can say the most nasty and terrible things imaginable to people, or groups of people, and it has almost become acceptable to do so. If you go to a YouTube channel or a Facebook post, people will say whatever it is they want, but I doubt that is true in real life. The internet is a vast place for people to just vent on one another. It allows anyone, regardless of age or maturity level to put out there opinions and with little-to-no consequences. With no real threat of penalty, people are just going off at the mouth on one another in a way never foreseen.

      This “no fear internet” phenomenon I believe has spread into the real world in the form of the “fake argument." We fantasized in our heads about what we would say to someone or try to script out an argument in our favor. Driving in the car or taking a shower we mold and build ourselves up for the “big throw down.” We plot and try and predict what the other person will say, or how they will counter. Sometimes even working ourselves up and getting mad at the other person for thinking they might say something. We get emotionally tangled into a fight that has never happen, nor does the other person even know about it.

      This can work us up and make us even angrier at the person who has said nothing to us. So why do we do it? Is it because we do not have guts to say some of these things in person? It is a way to vent without getting in trouble? Or it is a method of preparing for something that we have been taught to avoid? 

      I think it is a little of all the above. Most people seem to avoid conflict at all costs and this method of being able to try and work out problems in our heads helps understand the situation. It allows us to try and look at things from the other person’s point-of-view. Maybe this process helps them realize that they are not one hundred percent in the wrong. Or that they are taking full advance of someone and something needs to be said. 

      There becomes a certain point that we all come to where we need to get out what is on our mind. The fake argument allows us to go through what it is we need to say. Instead of going in to argument all worked up and not having a method of delivering the point. This will also allow us to make sure that we hit all the issues, that we are having and what is it we want to happen or need to change.

           As annoying as this can be, I think it is a health way to get things out into the open in your own mind before going off half-cocked.


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